Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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