Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
birth control should be required to get into college
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize