that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
