yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
