you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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