He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We just shotgunned beers for America
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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