all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
