Four minutes until I can fart!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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