I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
