cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
