I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
