That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
im holly from the hills drunk
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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