my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
