Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
