No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
