youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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