Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
