my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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