I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize