Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
