Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
