Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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