margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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