there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
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It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
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Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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