Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
