"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize