Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
