i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize