i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
