im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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