i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
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I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.