My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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