WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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