No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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