At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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