His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
