When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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