the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
