im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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