i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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