Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This is not my ceiling
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize