she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
