He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
