She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize