I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
