Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
