All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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