i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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