the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Do vagina's smell?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
