You're completely useless in the revolution.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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