PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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