A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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