I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
