OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
