So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
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Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
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I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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