I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
