I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize