there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize