How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
