i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
