being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
