Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
